M.I.L

Situation:

You are in the labour room dilated 8 cenimetres,

your legs are spread apart.

Your jewish mother in-law who has been begging the nurse for three hours to enter the room even though the house is already packed,because she wants to see her first grand child be born (she already has three)since she might have terminal cancer (she found a skin tag on her neck two weeks ago)and might not get to spend time with him (she will be at your house even before you get out of the hospital) finally makes it through the door.

You are in pain and your husband is already pissing the hell out of you, now the source of all his defects is right here hovering over you. Then she does the inimaginable: she rubs your belly and says,

“Get to work, I want to see my baby soon”

What do you do?

A: you bite the crap out of her hand and might even pull a Mike Tyson and move on to the ear.

B:you punch the old bag, you know you'll be able to blame it on momentanous insanity due to labour pain.

C: like a spy in captivity you quietly start planing your escape to another country.